If you haven’t seen the dancing squid video that has recently gripped the digestive organs of diners everywhere, we’ll summarize: there’s squid, freshly prepared, in a bowl. The person behind the camera pours soy sauce on the animal, which proceeds to twitch and flap its tentacles about post-mortem, dancing like a translucent emissary of Satan.
We’ll leave the debate on whether this constitutes animal cruelty to other Internet provocateurs, since the ShopSquad team consists of 50% vegetarians and 90% tetchy buttholes who laugh at misery. Instead, we’ve rounded up the most gut-bustingly awesome squid-related accessories around, whether you prefer your swimmy seabeasts dead and deep-fried or releasing the Kraken at a beach near you.
ModCloth Squid Pro Quo earrings: deck out your earlobes in inky, adorable terror.
CafePress Travel Mug: Cocktails, Casablanca, and cephalopods? Consider us thoroughly romanced.
Busted Tees Free Hugs Shirt – Chilly rage or adorable misunderstanding? The squid’s black grimace yields no easy answers.
ThinkGeek Cuttlefish Babydoll Tee – Random fact: when we were little, we thought these creatures were named cuddlefish, conjuring images of furry, aquatic embraces. Picture our disappointment when we were confronted by the broad, bumpy, mollusc-y, distinctly uncuddle-able reality. We haven’t been this disappointed by misleading names since The Banger Sisters.
BONUS: Octopus Round!
ShanaLogic Octo Plushie Pink – your mouth says, “I protest the twee anthropomorphism of the Octopoda order,” but your heart says, “yessssssssss.”
As always, you can get ace shopping advice, underwater or landlubbing, at ShopSquad.