3 Non-Shitty Ways to Do Dinner+Movie Dates

There’s a reason why the dinner-and-a-movie combination remains a staple for date nights. As a species, we need food and the passive contemplation of professionally attractive people to survive.

But what if you don’t want to brave the Friday night masses at the cinema, with the squalling infants (who brings a baby to Saw VI, anyways?), sticky floors and ursine jerks who totally block your view and laugh obnoxiously at every vaguely amusing line before resuming their regularly scheduled mouth breathing? Well, you could always stay in and watch a movie over takeout, but that sounds kind of… lame. Diffident. Flaccid.

We at ShopSquad pride ourselves on our creativity and romantic potency (at least, that’s what our Real Dolls tell us at night), so we’ve devised several fresh variations on the old dinner-and-a-movie routine. Read these ideas over and give them a whirl. You can even claim them as your own; we won’t tell on you.

NOSTALGIA

In Greek, nostalgia literally means “the pain from an old wound.” It’s true, because Don Draper said it, and that guy was crawling with women.

His wife looked like this, and he still thought, "Hmm. I can do better." That's a man with a plan B through Z. And potentially, lots of STDs.

Curate a selection of your favorite snacks from childhood, whether they’re Capri Sun or Gushers or wine coolers. Put on a movie that the both of you have already seen, and play a classic game like Jenga (an adroit metaphor for sexual tension) or Hungry Hungry Hippos (we’ll just leave that one to your imagination) . The indigestion is temporary, but love lasts forever.

Difficulty level: 2
Recommended for: winsome indie types, slightly awkward May-December romances
Pair with: vintage Pixar

TASTE TEST

Everyone has a favorite food. Everyone is an expert on something (we even built a little site on that premise). Taste tests let your date share his/her expertise in a fun, low-pressure setting, and hey, free food and blindfolds!

We think many dates would be greatly improved with the addition of blindfolds

True story: a friend of ours claimed that he was a lemonade connoisseur during a meet-and-greet with a girl. His date then purchased ten varieties of lemonade and set up a picnic gauntlet, in which he had to determine the brand of each drink during a blind tasting. He scored an abysmal 4/10 on the test, but he got the girl; they’re married now, and he won’t return our calls to hit up the gentlemen’s clubs. Asshole.

Difficulty level: 5
Recommended for: cute-but-snooty know-it-alls who need to be taken down a peg or two
Pair with: Last Tango in Paris

HEIST

Maybe watching movies from the safety of your private property is too bourgeois. Maybe you are in possession of an impatient heart and ninja stealth. If so, all you need are the following ingredients for a recklessly romantic evening:

1.) Access to an abandoned building
2.) Miniature projector
3.) Lightweight laptop
4.) Laptop backpack
5.) Blanket

Just break into the building, set up your laptop, and project the cinematic masterpiece of your choice on the wall. Might want to keep the running time down, though, in case any cops or deranged, frothy hobos come knocking.

Difficulty level: 9
Recommended for: smitten, agile lotharios who do not fear death
Pair with: Heat, Double Indemnity

As always, you can get live expert advice on all purchases, gifts or otherwise, at ShopSquad.

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